


darkness at the door

by justsleepwalkin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Emotional Manipulation, Episode s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Guilt, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Michael works through some things, Post-Canon Fix-It, Reunions, Season 15 AU, Spoilers for Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, The Empty (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28790130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsleepwalkin/pseuds/justsleepwalkin
Summary: “I guess you never really loved me, huh?”Adam says, so simple and so quiet.Michael breaks. He snarls, gaze snapping up to meet Adam's, overflowing with anger, eyes radiant, “You're notreal!”
Relationships: Michael/Adam Milligan, The Empty | The Shadow & Michael
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	darkness at the door

**Author's Note:**

> I had to watch 15x08 and 15x19 back to back for making icons and anytime I put myself through that I guess it just ends up with emotional fic because I get mad every time. 
> 
> There's.... probably more tags I should add but I'm so braindead at this point to think what they should be.
> 
> I deleted and re-added the fix-it tag more than once. I mean it's?? Kind of... It's not a GREAT end it's just a??? Better end? I guess? An _acknowledgement_ that we didn't get? Whatever I probably shouldn't write and post while sleep-deprived. I'm going to bed.

> This is our corner of the planet  
>  It's the straight edges he inhabit  
>  We ignore the darkness at the door  
>  Turn the lights out if you hear me  
>  Stop your screaming, just speak clearly  
>  The lonely and the righteous  
>  I just need friends and nothing more  
>  Darkness at the Door by Editors

-

_“Didn't think I'd ever quite know what betrayal felt like again,”_ Adam says, voice hard through Michael's mind. _“Not from you, Michael. After everything.”_ Adam laughs, turning his head to look around at the endless swathes of absolute nothingness, sitting cross-legged to mirror the posture of Michael.

Michael says nothing, as he's continued to do for the last... well, it might be eternity. He thought he knew what eternity felt like before this. He presses his hands into his knees and stares at a singular spot of the void between the two of them, spine rigid. 

Eternity, but really in all likelihood Michael thinks it's only been hours. 

_“Guess this is just like old times. Complete with my talking to fill the silence and you being a complete asshole.”_

Michael ignores him, refuses to move, refuses to even blink. 

_“It's funny,”_ Adam says, _“that I really thought I could trust you. That you wouldn't abandon me, y'know?”_

Michael makes the barest twitch and centers himself against the clamor of sound in his head. 

_“I guess you never really loved me, huh?”_ Adam says, so simple and so quiet.

Michael breaks. He snarls, gaze snapping up to try and meet Adam's, overflowing with anger, eyes radiant, “You're not _real_!” 

Adam tsks, skirting the eye contact in a split second, attention back on their environment. _“Castiel said it was Lucifer that was the smart one, right? I was still rooting for you at the time of course, but come_ on _, Michael, you know what happened in the Cage.”_

Michael is shaking, the tears in his eyes glowing like crystals from the surge of grace. He's spent so long ignoring this hallucination that now he can't look away. 

_“You know what you did to me,”_ Adam continues, excruciatingly slow, _“what you did to my soul.”_

“I didn't—” Michael chokes out. “That shouldn't—”

 _“Matter?”_ Adam finishes. He stands, unfolding limbs with ease and turning to pace away from Michael. _“You think it didn't_ matter _that my soul was woven into your grace?”_

“Yes,” Michael grits out, staying seated. He has to find his stability again. “My Father erased you, Adam. You were _gone_ from me. Separate! He unwound you!” He leans forward, pressing hands to his head and breathing deeply and then finally resumes his steady posture. “Which means you can't be here.” He refuses once more to acknowledge Adam. 

_“Made me read as 'angel' when I died, Michael.”_ He spreads his arms. _“Made me die like an angel. And boy, hearing about what you did after?”_ He's suddenly crouching in Michael's space and Michael struggles to breathe, teetering backwards. _“Went back to Dad after he abandoned you once already. Shoulda listened to me, Michael. How could you be so stupid?”_

“Shut up,” Michael hisses, quaking. “Shut _up_. You don't understand—” And Michael needs to stop speaking to him, keeps begging his mind to realize that it's just his own guilt manifesting before him. 

_“I don't understand?”_ Adam shouts. _“I understood you better than anyone. I_ loved _you, Michael. And you_ used _me, broke all of our promises, everything we had, and discarded me just like the Winchesters!”_

“That's not what happened!” Michael yells even louder in response, again looking to Adam, except this time their eyes lock and Michael frowns. 

Adam's eyes were golden. If this was a hallucination, Michael knows for damn sure that his mind, even as penance, would draw up Adam _correctly_.

“You're not...” he trails off as he falters. 

Adam reaches up to rest an elbow on his knee, chin in his palm. “Oh,” he says, voice no longer in Michael's mind, “little wings finally caught me.” He grins, smile too wide for Adam's face. “I can still have my fun, I think.” He taps at the side of his head with his other hand. “I have all this boy's memories rolling around in my realm, split open.” He clicks his tongue. “Turns out a human in the Empty is _messy_.”

Michael feels his gut drop. “Then... Adam's really... _here_?”

The lookalike chuckles, singing around the laughter. “Oh, yes. He certainly is. Pieces, strewn about. You should have been more careful with your belongings, angel.”

“He's not a _thing_!” Michael bellows, reaching out to twist a hand roughly into the other's jacket. “I don't know who you think you are but you _will_ return him to me!”

“I gave you all the answers, genius,” he taunts. He splays his hands. “He's in _me_ , same as you, same as every loudmouth demon and angel that don't remember how to _sleep_ as they're supposed to.”

“You're an avatar,” Michael states. 

“Sure, call it what you will,” the Empty agrees with a shrug.

Michael shakes them. “Then find a different model!” 

“Why?” they purr. “Your guilt getting too much the longer you look at me? I'm just giving his poor shattered soul a voice.” 

“I did,” Michael rasps through clenched teeth, “what was _necessary_.”

“To who?” the Empty asks, head cocked to the side in an inhuman fashion. “Adam? Your Father? Mm, no, not even _yourself_.” They blow a whistle of air into Michael's face. “Ah, I see. The _memory_ of yourself.” 

They knock away Michael's hand from their person, eyes swiveling in a strange circle, nodding. “The boy's got it.”

Michael freezes, his hand still hung in the air where it was pushed away, and he realizes he's too afraid to ask. 

Another nod, and then, “The last time you ever felt secure in your sense of self. He really _does_ know you, doesn't he?” they hum. “All the chaos and imbalance must be so hard for you, mm? All you angels, so used to falling in line. How's it feel? To be so much closer to _human_?”

Michael swallows. 

“And same as humans, it all blew up in your face.”

They reach out and Michael starts to feel the burning sacred fire that ate through his vessel—ate through _Adam's body_ —once more, but then they jerk away, tucking the hand close to them and wincing. 

“Soul boy didn't like that move,” they say, nodding rapidly, “okay.” 

Michael shivers. “... Adam's... functioning through you?” 

“Yes,” they answer, “he's awfully angry, you see. Hundreds of broken shards all crying out. You really ruined his life. Couldn't just let him stay snug up in Heaven, could you? Needed a backup to ride into battle.”

“He's not a backup,” Michael growls, even as he's feeling his heart shatter right along with Adam's soul. “But you're right,” he whispers.

“Hm? What was that?”

He closes his eyes. “You're _right_ ,” he says, louder, “I did ruin his life. He was so _insignificant_ at the time compared to my 'destiny' and I—” He cuts himself off, the single word of _'destiny'_ driving a spear through his grace. He made the same mistake twice in his life. He knew destiny was a lie and he still just _wanted_ to recapture something that was supposed to make _sense_. 

“Being alone after spending a millennium in Hell with someone must have been awful,” they observe.

“... I shouldn't have gone to my Father,” Michael says as though he hadn't heard them. His voice cracks. He stares down at his hands, but even here he's barred from his true form and trapped with this painful _reminder_. “I just... there was _nothing left_. Why would I put any trust in the _Winchesters_ after what they did to Adam? I _know_ it was a mistake but what else was I supposed to do?!” 

Michael looks up and he's startled to see them smiling, and it almost looks so close to Adam that he feels his expression crumple. 

“There you go,” they say, for the first time sounding soft, “that's why I was looking for.”

Michael frowns. “What?” 

“I needed your thoughts to take on a different tune. Unacknowledged guilt is thunderous. This though... I can deal with this,” they answer. “And it's hard to line up the pieces of soul and grace if only one of you is shattered.”

“I don't understand,” he says weakly. 

“Take him back.” The Empty turns their wrist, palm up, hand out to Michael in offering.

He stares at it, silent. 

“Take him _back_ ,” they repeat with more emphasis.

“I can't,” Michael says. “He doesn't—I betrayed him—I—”

“You know that part I said about soul boy functioning through me? Yeah, that was a lie. He only had enough influence to keep me from physically hurting you. He's been throwing a mental rave to try and get me to stop needling you, which almost worked a few times there. _Please_ , he'd break apart this realm for you. It's really sickening. I don't like humans being here, but what can you do.” 

The Empty bobs their hand through the air. “Take him.”

“Why?” Michael begs. “Why... all of this?” 

“I'm trying something new,” they say. “I can't put you to sleep, but I can quiet you down. And you gave me a splitting headache when you got here. Painful enough that I had to leave your disaster of a brother.”

Michael flinches away at the mention of Lucifer. 

“Adam can't exist here without you. His soul needs your grace to give it structure. Whatever you guys did to it, you really bungled it up.” 

“I-I didn't _mean_ to,” Michael tries, desperate. 

“ _Ugh_ , kiddo, I'm not blaming you, just take care of your mess, I have a queue of work to get to, and then maybe I can take a nap for a few decades before I get another heavy hitter with an emotional orchestra of baggage arriving here. I'm done with my tricks.” 

Michael doesn't believe them, but it doesn't matter. If they're the link to Adam, he'll take that plunge every time. 

He clasps their hand. 

The air warps around them. The visage of Adam splits in two for just a moment, one sitting grasping Michael's hand, the other blurring to stand. Michael feels his entire being strain forward, reaching Light out to embrace the familiar bright aura of soul, mesmerized by its warmth, resewing the connections that they had accidentally forged in the Cage. He gasps as that gaping chasm within him is full once more, _whole_. 

His hand is empty as one Adam fades, and the standing figure distorts into a woman that he thankfully doesn't recognize. They flick him a two-finger wave. 

“Try and stay out of trouble, little wings,” they plead. “Keep the din of all your thoughts down, and you and I are square. I can't handle dealing with more than one archangel at a time. And keep that soul from shattering again.” 

They vanish. 

A beat.

And then there are arms around Michael, strong and secure, and a bubble of laughter from soul, and Adam is before him—the real, _true_ Adam. 

Michael breaks for the second time. “Adam,” he cries, “Adam, I'm so sorry.”

“I know, I know, it's okay, Michael,” Adam says, smoothing hands across Michael's face. “None of their words were mine. _None_ , Michael, you have to understand that. I would never do that to you.”

“I would deserve it,” Michael argues, “all of it.”

“Well, tough shit,” Adam says. He leans his forehead into Michael's. “Because no one's going to hurt you anymore. I won't let the Empty get another hand on you, and if Lucifer's ever free from his therapy session he can stay at the other end of this 'colorful' realm.”

“Y-You're only here because of me, Adam, I...”

Adam draws back sharply. “What? First off: I don't care where I end up as long as it's with you. _Second_ off: I realize you might not remember because your grace was having a _seizure_ in the Cage, but _I_ was the one that solidified my soul into your grace, not the other way around. If it's anyone's 'fault' for my being here, it's on me.”

“Adam...”

“Which means I'm amazing,” Adam finishes, “because it means I _do_ get my eternity with you.” 

Michael wraps his arms around Adam, pulling him in, tucking soul into the spaces it belongs, feels like it's always belonged. “I never thought I'd see you again,” he whispers into the crook of Adam's neck. 

Adam cards a hand through Michael's hair. “Hey,” he says, “it's going to be okay. No one can ever split us apart again. I'll keep you safe.”

“ _I_ was supposed to keep _you_ safe. And I failed.”

“There's nothing you could have done, Michael. There was no one to fight. It was a literal act of God. A petty, pathetic act.” He smiles, and it's real, concrete, not the mockery the Empty made it into. Michael finds himself trying to match that smile without realizing it. “And besides, we were never about protection. I _know_ you remember our promise.”

Michael shakes his head at this impossible human. He says, with an overdrawn, fond sigh, “Partnership. Equals, splitting the difference.”

“Exactly,” Adam says. “We keep that promise and we'll be okay.”

Michael's hand finds one of Adam's own and draws it up to his lips. 

Adam smirks. “Sealed with a kiss?” he teases. “Really, Michael?” 

“Reaffirming a promise,” Michael says. 

“Not that way you are,” Adam argues, and coils around him to kiss him on those same lips.

(In a distant part of the Empty, their avatar in the form of Gabriel, they break off their game of words with Lucifer, face sinking into their hands to stifle a loud groan. Lucifer, wisely, doesn't question it.)

**Author's Note:**

> My headcanon that I will never break away from (and go into more for _lost in the lapse again_ ) is that Michael was heavily affected by Apocalypse Michael popping onto the planet, though they didn't know at the time, and Adam interwove his soul with Michael's grace in order to stabilize him. 
> 
> Which means he gets a pass to the Empty with Michael. 
> 
> I promise I can write these two warm and happy ~~and alive~~ lmfao but screw you s15.


End file.
